Temper Tantrums

Thankfully, I haven`t had to deal with any really bad temper tantrums on Michayla`s part yet, but I have dealt with some pretty bad temper tantrums of my own these past years (which is worst!)! I was known to have a pretty bad temper for a while growing up, which I am not at all proud of, but for a couple years before getting married, I seemed to have "matured". Ha! Obviously I still have a lot of maturing to do! Maybe I just wasn`t being stretched enough! I think most married people know that marriage puts to the test how truly selfless you really are. I remember different moments our first year of marriage where I realized how selfish I was and felt the Lord calling me to a deeper level of sacrificing myself and my will to serve Him and serve my husband. Some of my old temper started to haunt me again. Becoming a mom has put those qualities to the test all over again. There are times I really want my way, and I want my family to follow my agenda. How truly and despicably selfish! I have thrown some pretty bad temper tantrums (often camouflaged as "melt downs") here and there. In the moment, I have felt justified knowing  how much I have sacrificed, how tired I am,  how bad everyone ELSE is acting, but in the end I am left confronted with my sin and wishing somebody could give me a good spanking to whip me in shape.´Unfortunately, it is not as easy as a spanking-dealing with heart issues can be so much harder, but today I am more thankful than ever to have these situations in my life that cause me to recognize how much I need Him and depend on His grace. Lord, change me!